I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
This is my gift to your gina
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
