so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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