I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
