Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
handjob tips. give me some.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
