I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
dude. I can hear the air.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
