"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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