It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
