Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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