Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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