I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
