I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I have fence marks all over my body
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
