Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Oh god it's open bar.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
