i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
