She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
