I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
