just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
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