my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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