Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
