Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
