After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
