i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
