took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
