Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
