I want to have your abortion
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize