I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
