Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
