You work out of a Hotel?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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