Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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