Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
The best revenge is premature balding
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize