Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just high enough for therapy.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
