I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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