just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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