we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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