atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
