what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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