girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
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