Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
