bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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