i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
