Betty ford says i'm here all night
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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