dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
