did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
