is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Welp...herpes.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
