just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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