You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
