I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
