I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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