my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
