but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
