He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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