Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
