I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You are the jesus of drinking
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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