"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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