i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He kissed a someone with a penis
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
