Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
