I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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