i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
