It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
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