haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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