Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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