Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
