Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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