You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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