If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I can't trust your balls anymore.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
