I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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