Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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