Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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