I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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