Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
