Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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