last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
